Embrace your imperfection

 

We often have expectations on us on how we should be

I wish I scored marks like him.

I wish I could handle problems like you.

I wish I could be as disciplined as you.

I wish I could be like YOU.

 

You are perfect the way you are,

 I don't believe in this.

There is imperfection with everyone. Why should anyone be PERFECT in the first place?

We compare ourselves with others. It comes from our insecurities.

 

I will tell you a little story about a boy. Let us call him Raj.

One day Raj said he was disappointed in me.

I was shocked. I asked the reason for feeling like that.

He said that he always looked up to me. Now, he sees me as an irresponsible student.

Tbh I laughed when I heard this.

Many people have said this to me, even my parents. But, I have been the most responsible, most ambitious person I have ever been now.

But I cannot explain why I chose to be like this. For that, I have to tell a lifelong story. 

So, I replied that I was sorry to make him feel that way. But I know my actions are right for me.

That provoked me this thought- We are so focused on being perfect that when we see someone imperfect, we project our insecurities on them, thinking we are doing good for them.

 

How to embrace yourself?

Embracing yourself doesn't mean you will get happy about yourself. It is getting vulnerable and accepting even the bad days and not letting them affect you.

It is not a 1-2-3 step process. It involves a lot of mindset change. Here are a few tips I find interesting: 

1. Being authentic:

 

 I have to be myself. That is so easy.

But you know how difficult it is to be authentic when you don't know who you are. You step out of your comfort zone because not many people might like your authenticity.

It triggers when you are a people pleaser(always making others happy). Be it your mom, dad, friends, teachers, or boss.

People always tell you how you should behave. Guys should give importance to work, not expressive, etc. Girls should be modest, quiet, etc. When a girl is ambitious or when a guy shares feelings with others. Then, they should STOP and start behaving a certain way.

Being authentic takes a lot of courage.

If your goal is authenticity: They don't like me. It's ok.

 If your goal is to be accepted, it triggers shame. 

If they don't like me, I am not good enough.

2. Critical awareness:

We are influenced every day by the images, ads, cinema that we watch. They sell us values, success, love, normalcy.

For example, actors go on talk shows and play games to promote a movie. They are selling their personalities. Even if you didn't know the actor before, you would be like, 

"Hey, I like this man. He seems funny. Why not check out his movie?"

So, you get influenced by the world. Before comparing yourself with the image of who you think you should be like, critically think:

•  What am I expecting from myself? Is it really what I want or what I think I want?
• Does this make ME happy or someone I want to impress? 

 

3. Joy:

We live in scarcity. All the time, we complain and worry, and we go to sleep thinking the same. So we are justifying ourselves of living an unfulfilled life because "scarcity" becomes our mindset.

Many people fear enjoying small moments of happiness. They assume if they like the moment and it is gone, they will get back to sadness. So they prevent themselves from enjoying the moments.

You experience joy by being grateful. Whenever your fear prevents you from enjoying, transform it into gratitude. 

"I know I am feeling scared right now. It is going to pass. Nothing is permanent. But I am grateful about it because it has taught me a lesson which will make me a better person."

Enjoy the small moments while traveling. Notice how the clouds look so beautiful. Enjoy the dog walking and sniffing everything.

 

It is something I learned from a book, practice AEIOUY.

A = Have I been Abstinent today? (abstinent means restricting)

E = Have I Exercised today?

I = What have I done for myself today?

O = What have I done for Others today?

U = Am I holding on to Unexpressed emotions today?

Y = Yeah! What is something good that has happened today

Finally, I would like to say, revisit this blog whenever you compare yourself with others