Life changing self care tips

What is self-care?

I have seen a lot of "self-care tips" on the internet lately.

"Playing dumb to protect your energy is self-care."

"Being proud of your small wins is self-care."

Self-care comes from self-love.

"You have to care about yourself to start taking care of yourself." Whenever I hear self-love, it feels weak, vulnerable, and pathetic.

I never wanted myself to feel weak or pathetic. Now thinking about that, we take a long time to figure out our career and partner. Why? Because we spend most of the time with them.

But we spend the most time with ourselves. That's when I realized why I don't love myself with whom I spend every single second?

But at this age, we never give importance to self-care. We have a lot to do like classes, homework, tuitions, exams, internals and, we spend the little time left on social media.

The harsh truth is we are running like a hamster on a wheel.

 Is that our true purpose in life?

Self-care starts with YOU. Fall in love with taking care of your body, mind, and spirit.

Self-care doesn't mean always being happy and cheerful. Emotions like rage and soberness are there for us to feel. 

The goal is to get better. Stay better.

Before I start, self-care is not a one-time thing you do on a Sunday afternoon.

You have to be consistent.

 

1. Being mindful:

What is being mindful?

When you shower, feel the water running down the back. When you are eating, feel the taste of food.

A simple exercise of being mindful of what I learned from my psychology teacher:

Close your eyes and hear the sounds around you. I will tell you what I hear. I hear my stomach growling(it's dinner time), a ringing bell from a peanut wala vendor, and someone talking.

Similarly, close your eyes and ears and smell your surrounding. Now close your eyes and feel your body(I can feel my feet touching the cold floor. I can feel my hands touch the heated laptop. I can feel my muscles getting stiff at the neck. I can feel I am breathing heavily.)

Do try this yourself. That way, you will get to know what mindful is.

Being mindful makes you focus on the present. Stress or regret comes from focusing on the future or past. Right now, you are reading this blog. There is no stress in that.

 

2. Don't suppress your emotions:

Usually, people deal with emotions in 2 ways: either vent them or suppress them.

Venting anger on someone is considered rude or undesirable in a workplace or relationship. Another way, people suppress it (which is even more dangerous).

Emotions are like energy ways. It will pass. When you hold on to these emotions, do you know what might happen?

You might think only the mind is controlling these emotions. But as I have told you, body and mind are connected. The body also holds onto it. 

It leads to anxiety, depression, and even suicide.

 

3. Write about your thoughts:

You can vent all you want, and nobody will judge you. Writing a journal is like writing your soul. When you write about your feelings and thoughts, you will know what you did wrong and what areas need your focus.

 

 

4. Positive affirmation:

You are what your thoughts are. You tell yourself stories. Even if you keep telling yourself a lie, your mind will start believing it. 

So, from tomorrow, wake up and look in the mirror and smile.

Step 2: tell yourself nice words which you will to your loved ones.

"Have a nice day." "You look pretty today." "I love that you are always pushing yourself."

Tbh you won't believe what you are saying. It might feel like you are saying it, summa. It might feel awkward or even weird too. But what if you do that for a week or a year. At some point, you will start believing what you thought was a "lie."

 

5. You deserve a break:

Do you know stressed backward is desserts? Do you feel stressed?

Do you feel tired often?

Do you feel agitated or easily cry?

Do you find it hard to sleep?

Do you feel a headache, shallow breathing, or racing heartbeat?

Do you feel restless?

If you have answered Yes to most of the questions, you need to check your stress levels.

You deserve a break. You might be working continuously, checking all the boxes. 

For those people, my answer is to do nothing. Yes, you heard it right.

Do nothing for a whole day, dance randomly, take a long walk with no destination, sing a song loudly, or cry your eyes out. Do what you feel like doing. While doing it, you might feel guilty for not doing your job. Stop that thought by reinforcing yourself by saying, "you deserve this." If you give yourself a break you deserve, you can reduce stress, improve functioning and coping skills, boost self-confidence and worth.

 

Pro tip:

Next time when you get angry or upset, do this:

1. Place your arm on your heart. Slowly inhale. Feel the connection between your hand and heart, and then hold your breath for 4 seconds and breath out. Feel the air coming out.

2. Hug someone close to you. It can be your parent, your sibling, or even your pet. Hugging creates oxytocin which is a love hormone. It lowers your anger as well increases the bond.

Mridula, "I am awkward hugging someone". But the thing is, nobody hates a hug. Try once. You are not going to regret it.